Okay so I have been avoiding my blog long enough. I went almost 3 months with no picking and then I failed. Miserably. One thing that I am grateful, however, is the lessons that I learned that can make me better as I prepare to set a new goal for myself.
I want to read someone’s blog on here and something that they said really Disturbed me at first but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. It said that in order to stop pulling you must realize that you can’t stop bullying. It Disturbed me because it made me feel as though I should just lose hope in myself and that quote really stuck in my head. I just could not get over that the person would say something like that. But obviously is stuck with me for a reason and I Ponder and Ponder and Ponder on this quote until I finally made sense to me. Everyday I have a different Revelation to what it could mean for me but in a nutshell I feel that it makes me not blame myself for having this issue as much. If I realize that this is an actual condition that I had and not just a weakness as a person it helps me to deal with the issue more. I hated the quote at first because it made me feel like I should lose faith in myself that maybe I will overcome this one day but I don’t think that’s the case. I think I just have to accept that this is a condition that is part of my life and once I can accept this as a problem I won’t blame myself as much. Now, nothing really makes picking any easier emotionally but it isn’t understanding about I feel that we need to have in order to be great.
One thing that I must reiterate for myself is that there is never just one. Anytime I lose a battle with just one hair lease to a war where I lose a lot of hairs. There really are no true Solutions. There’s really nothing to it but to do it. I’m going through a phase right now where I just have not been having any major urges and that’s the easy part. The true challenge is being able to fight the urges that I get when they do come. Blocking has certainly helped me in the past so I am restarting my campaign to know picking and hopefully I can make it to a full six months this time. My true goal is one entire year and I have made a conscious decision to not give up on myself and that I will see one full year of no picking in my lifetime.
Well after 11 Weeks I slipped and pulled a few lashes. I could have definitely kept going but luckily I stopped myself. Sooooo….. my countdown starts over unfortunately. This is Day 1 😦
The journey to stop picking continues!! My urges are very few and far between so it is much easier for me to ignore them these days when they do show up. I have stayed away from mascara which has helped a lot. I may try to find a good clear mascara just because I want my lashes to pop more now that they have gotten longer
My brows are still pretty sparse unfortunately. I plan on doing a procedure called Microblading pretty soon just to fill them in and give the appearance that I have brows since they seem to be having a hard time right now
But anyway, just wanted to give an update on the Pull Free world. It is AWESOME and I really hope that I continue to be so strong on my journey
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!
How long does it take to regrow hair?
“For a post-pubescent or young adult, it takes about 65 days for eyebrows to regrow following plucking. For a mature adult, it will take about 56 days for eyebrow hair to regrow and about 73 days for a person at retirement age.”
Well it has been 63 days for me and I am not sure I really see my progress. Naturally there is SOME growth, but darnit I want all of my brows and lashes!!! Lol!
Ah well. I will continue to be patient. I would looooove to get them nice and full so that I can get them arched this summer. I look forward to being able to walk out of a pool with full confidence!!
I have been pull free for 9 Weeks!!! Whoo hoo!! I am very proud of myself!!!! I still have some patches of brows and lashes that I wish would grow in already, but I am glad I haven’t furthered the damage. WHOO HOO!!
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!
So far so good! I think I can confirm that my bad urge episode was due to mascara. I have not had 1 single urge since then and it is great to have some “normalcy” in my life… a new normal. A world of no urges at all is definitely my preference.
So now I’m focusing on other goals to make myself a better person. Starting Monday I am going to challenge myself to 8 weeks if no bread or sugar. I have already started a blog here on WordPress called ChubBeGone so check me out and help me along the way!!
Yesterday. Was. AWFUL!!!! Omg the horror. Lol. I’m talking urge after urge after urge and it was pure torture!!!!!! SO AWFUL!!!!
BUT…. I didn’t pick! It was sooooooooooooo hard! By far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I would rather have taken a 500 question test than endure yesterday again.
I touched, I even did a few little tugs but somehow I never brought myself to pull out a full lash. I wrote “Do Not Pick” about a gazillion times. I gave myself pep talks. I talked to myself about my past and future self and wanting to be greater. I owe it to myself to have full beautiful lashes and brows and the only thing stopping me is Me! I’m grateful that I didn’t cave in. I’m sure there will be more days like this. I have won 1 battle in this huge war and I’m determined to win.
It’s an extremely emotional battle. Just typing this out brings tears to my eyes. I feel that the harder i try the weaker I get. I know it sounds weird but I can’t help but wonder if I’ll always be this strong. I mean technically I did touch the hairs, and I came so close numerous times to just yanking one out. I can’t lie…. it hurts so good!! Ugh, it just does!!
There is nothing else in the world that feels like picking. The feeling is amazing, let’s be honest. I know that picking gives my mind and body some type of reward and that’s why it’s so hard to stop. But I have to be bigger than my problem and think my way out of this. I will continue to be strong for myself. My present and future self deserves a better life WITHOUT Trichotillomania and I plan to go get it
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!
Ok time to blog because I am about to have an oopsy big time. I have a spot on my right brow that I would be more than happy to pull out and I am trying my best to refrain. It is in an area that is already struggling to grow back and it would be so stupid to pick from this spot of all places. Please don’t be stupid, self! You have come toooooooo far!! I think I have done so much damage to this spot and am not sure if it’ll ever grow back how I want but I’ll never know if I keep plucking it!!! I keep touching and stroking it so it’s time to do something else with my hands. Blogging helps keep me strong.
I think I will create a new blog or just add to this one. It will be focused on nutrition. Beyond not picking, I want to be healthy inside and out. I used to run marathons and eat perfectly but lately I’ve been letting my cravings get the best of me. I need to keep this under control before it gets out of hand. I will prepare this week and next week I will start new journal entries on foods and recipes to keep me healthy. I notice that with picking, blogging helps me hold myself accountable so I’m going to give it a try in other areas. I would like to lose 15 lbs by July. I think that is very feasible, so let’s do it!!
I want this blog to be solely focused on overcoming Trichotillomania so I will post the name of the new blog soon
Thanks for reading! And I hope I encouraged someone today. Knowing that even one person is strengthened by my post helps me tremendously. Seriously. I want to be that glimmer of hope, not only for myself, but for anyone who ever doubts that it can be overcome
Be encouraged. Be Blessed. Be strong
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!
My endurance is weakening so I must blog about it. Though I haven’t picked, I do touch my brows and lashes way too much for comfort. I KNOW what’s next if I keep taunting myself
I need a new goal of some sort. Right now I just feel like I’m going as long as I can, but I need attainable goals to set for myself. Since I am focused on making it 1 full year of no picking, I’ll consider 3 months my 1st milestone. I started this blog on 3/17 and have not picked since then. So on June 17th I will reward myself with ice cream.
As a double challenge, I will let this be a fitness challenge as well, as I looooove ice cream but need to lose a few pounds
So cheers to me on my journey to 3 months as my 1st milestone to 1 year of no picking. Hooray!
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!
Well I made it through another night pull free. It. Was. Hard, I cannot lie. I think what made it so hard is it have started a class and the person who has been sitting next to me is a skin picker I think. I’ve never seen anyone else do any picking of any kind so I was in complete shock. She really could not stop and I understood the feeling. Unfortunately it made my urges come but I fought those suckers so hard
When it almost got to be too much to bear, I distracted myself by blogging, using the restroom, and also imagine how it would look tomorrow. Being 6 weeks pull free, I have a lot of my lashes back. So I knew how obvious it would look if I pulled even a few of them. I will continue to stay strong and focus on my goals. And continue to declare:
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!