Okay so I have been avoiding my blog long enough. I went almost 3 months with no picking and then I failed. Miserably. One thing that I am grateful, however, is the lessons that I learned that can make me better as I prepare to set a new goal for myself.
I want to read someone’s blog on here and something that they said really Disturbed me at first but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. It said that in order to stop pulling you must realize that you can’t stop bullying. It Disturbed me because it made me feel as though I should just lose hope in myself and that quote really stuck in my head. I just could not get over that the person would say something like that. But obviously is stuck with me for a reason and I Ponder and Ponder and Ponder on this quote until I finally made sense to me. Everyday I have a different Revelation to what it could mean for me but in a nutshell I feel that it makes me not blame myself for having this issue as much. If I realize that this is an actual condition that I had and not just a weakness as a person it helps me to deal with the issue more. I hated the quote at first because it made me feel like I should lose faith in myself that maybe I will overcome this one day but I don’t think that’s the case. I think I just have to accept that this is a condition that is part of my life and once I can accept this as a problem I won’t blame myself as much. Now, nothing really makes picking any easier emotionally but it isn’t understanding about I feel that we need to have in order to be great.
One thing that I must reiterate for myself is that there is never just one. Anytime I lose a battle with just one hair lease to a war where I lose a lot of hairs. There really are no true Solutions. There’s really nothing to it but to do it. I’m going through a phase right now where I just have not been having any major urges and that’s the easy part. The true challenge is being able to fight the urges that I get when they do come. Blocking has certainly helped me in the past so I am restarting my campaign to know picking and hopefully I can make it to a full six months this time. My true goal is one entire year and I have made a conscious decision to not give up on myself and that I will see one full year of no picking in my lifetime.
Well after 11 Weeks I slipped and pulled a few lashes. I could have definitely kept going but luckily I stopped myself. Sooooo….. my countdown starts over unfortunately. This is Day 1 😦
How long does it take to regrow hair?
“For a post-pubescent or young adult, it takes about 65 days for eyebrows to regrow following plucking. For a mature adult, it will take about 56 days for eyebrow hair to regrow and about 73 days for a person at retirement age.”
Well it has been 63 days for me and I am not sure I really see my progress. Naturally there is SOME growth, but darnit I want all of my brows and lashes!!! Lol!
Ah well. I will continue to be patient. I would looooove to get them nice and full so that I can get them arched this summer. I look forward to being able to walk out of a pool with full confidence!!
I have been pull free for 9 Weeks!!! Whoo hoo!! I am very proud of myself!!!! I still have some patches of brows and lashes that I wish would grow in already, but I am glad I haven’t furthered the damage. WHOO HOO!!
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!
Yesterday. Was. AWFUL!!!! Omg the horror. Lol. I’m talking urge after urge after urge and it was pure torture!!!!!! SO AWFUL!!!!
BUT…. I didn’t pick! It was sooooooooooooo hard! By far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I would rather have taken a 500 question test than endure yesterday again.
I touched, I even did a few little tugs but somehow I never brought myself to pull out a full lash. I wrote “Do Not Pick” about a gazillion times. I gave myself pep talks. I talked to myself about my past and future self and wanting to be greater. I owe it to myself to have full beautiful lashes and brows and the only thing stopping me is Me! I’m grateful that I didn’t cave in. I’m sure there will be more days like this. I have won 1 battle in this huge war and I’m determined to win.
It’s an extremely emotional battle. Just typing this out brings tears to my eyes. I feel that the harder i try the weaker I get. I know it sounds weird but I can’t help but wonder if I’ll always be this strong. I mean technically I did touch the hairs, and I came so close numerous times to just yanking one out. I can’t lie…. it hurts so good!! Ugh, it just does!!
There is nothing else in the world that feels like picking. The feeling is amazing, let’s be honest. I know that picking gives my mind and body some type of reward and that’s why it’s so hard to stop. But I have to be bigger than my problem and think my way out of this. I will continue to be strong for myself. My present and future self deserves a better life WITHOUT Trichotillomania and I plan to go get it
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!
Ok time to blog because I am about to have an oopsy big time. I have a spot on my right brow that I would be more than happy to pull out and I am trying my best to refrain. It is in an area that is already struggling to grow back and it would be so stupid to pick from this spot of all places. Please don’t be stupid, self! You have come toooooooo far!! I think I have done so much damage to this spot and am not sure if it’ll ever grow back how I want but I’ll never know if I keep plucking it!!! I keep touching and stroking it so it’s time to do something else with my hands. Blogging helps keep me strong.
I think I will create a new blog or just add to this one. It will be focused on nutrition. Beyond not picking, I want to be healthy inside and out. I used to run marathons and eat perfectly but lately I’ve been letting my cravings get the best of me. I need to keep this under control before it gets out of hand. I will prepare this week and next week I will start new journal entries on foods and recipes to keep me healthy. I notice that with picking, blogging helps me hold myself accountable so I’m going to give it a try in other areas. I would like to lose 15 lbs by July. I think that is very feasible, so let’s do it!!
I want this blog to be solely focused on overcoming Trichotillomania so I will post the name of the new blog soon
Thanks for reading! And I hope I encouraged someone today. Knowing that even one person is strengthened by my post helps me tremendously. Seriously. I want to be that glimmer of hope, not only for myself, but for anyone who ever doubts that it can be overcome
Be encouraged. Be Blessed. Be strong
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!
So the other day, my urges were so overwhelmingly strong that I could feel it coming 2 days before it hit. I was weak and I did pick a few of my lashes. I was so disappointed and hurt.
In the world of Picking, going almost 2 whole months is sometimes unheard of!!! It is such a crazy condition that I still don’t understand. The good news is that I did get my control back and was able to not slip into doing it daily. I was extremely bummed when my husband noticed. I haven’t talked to him about my blog or support group because I wanted to surprise him with my progress, but I really dropped the ball this time. But I am not a quitter. I am not defined my my mistakes. I commend myself for my strength and perseverance and I refuse to quit
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!
I am truly enjoying the new me that is not being dominated by a bad habit. Last week, I did have a set back but I did not let it overtake me. I did pick 3 eyelashes. I was sad about it, but I did have to remember that just a few months ago, those 3 hairs would quickly and literally lead to hundreds.
Last week I went to a Hair Pulling and Skin Picking Support Group. This was absolutely amazing to me. I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but I was literally fighting tears the entire time. If felt absolutely amazing to have a room full of people who actually understand the struggle of this disorder. There was even a therapist hosting the group who provided lots of useful information and pointers. I was given a bottle of NAC vitamins. I have read a lot about them and how it helps pickers. I also listened to the stories of others and how they feel it helps. I am saving mine for a day that is extremely hard for me before I try them. I keep them in my purse just in case.
I will certainly go back to the next meeting and look forward to receiving more information about this topic.
I am not a picker anymore!!!!!!!
I must say that I am quite amazed with myself. I have been pull free for over 2 weeks!!! That is almost unheard of for myself. I have no tricks that I have learned along the way so far. I have just been paying close attention. I cannot wait until I can be able to say that I have gone an entire 30 days.
Its the little things that bring the most joy…
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wash my face and look into the mirror… completely devastated at what I see. No I have not picked, but I have to face myself and truly realize what I’ve been doing to myself. *draw on brows* That’s much better! Now I’m pretty again!!! I have to remind myself that this is not okay. I feel so grateful that I haven’t had any urges. I know they will come 1 day soon, but for now I am strengthening my mental health for that dreadful day that I certainly do not look forward to. At this point, my biggest enemy is any moment of boredom around a mirror. There are a few crazy looking eyebrows popping through that I would love to touch my tweezers with and I always remind myself that there is NEVER a such thing as “Just 1″….. like, ever. Seriously It is Friday so technically I have gone yet another day with no picking ( GO ME!!!). Now it’s time to make it another 24 hrs without my old habit I am not a picker anymore!!!!!!!