Okay so I have been avoiding my blog long enough. I went almost 3 months with no picking and then I failed. Miserably. One thing that I am grateful, however, is the lessons that I learned that can make me better as I prepare to set a new goal for myself.
I want to read someone’s blog on here and something that they said really Disturbed me at first but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. It said that in order to stop pulling you must realize that you can’t stop bullying. It Disturbed me because it made me feel as though I should just lose hope in myself and that quote really stuck in my head. I just could not get over that the person would say something like that. But obviously is stuck with me for a reason and I Ponder and Ponder and Ponder on this quote until I finally made sense to me. Everyday I have a different Revelation to what it could mean for me but in a nutshell I feel that it makes me not blame myself for having this issue as much. If I realize that this is an actual condition that I had and not just a weakness as a person it helps me to deal with the issue more. I hated the quote at first because it made me feel like I should lose faith in myself that maybe I will overcome this one day but I don’t think that’s the case. I think I just have to accept that this is a condition that is part of my life and once I can accept this as a problem I won’t blame myself as much. Now, nothing really makes picking any easier emotionally but it isn’t understanding about I feel that we need to have in order to be great.
One thing that I must reiterate for myself is that there is never just one. Anytime I lose a battle with just one hair lease to a war where I lose a lot of hairs. There really are no true Solutions. There’s really nothing to it but to do it. I’m going through a phase right now where I just have not been having any major urges and that’s the easy part. The true challenge is being able to fight the urges that I get when they do come. Blocking has certainly helped me in the past so I am restarting my campaign to know picking and hopefully I can make it to a full six months this time. My true goal is one entire year and I have made a conscious decision to not give up on myself and that I will see one full year of no picking in my lifetime.