14 days Eh?

Published April 18, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Whoever said it takes 14 days to break a habit needs to do a clinical trial. This weekend was extreeeeemely hard for me. My urges were just all over the place. I touched and I touched but I am so grateful that I did not tug. I actually fought through my urges and I am actually super surprised!! And even more grateful. Man. There is truly no secret at all. Just don’t do it is the only ugly answer. For me the only thing that has helped is blogging. Knowing that other trichsters read my posts give me a rare strength that I’ve never had. The disappointment that I would feel writing a post that I had gotten weak is just not something that I want to do so… I don’t! But I’m not going to act like it’s not the purest form of torture. This is the first post that I’ve written with tears coming down my face. I hate how hard that this is. I hate how complicated it is. I hate how weak I feel. I hate how I’ve allowed this to take over my life for so long. I hate how it makes me feel. I hate how it makes me look. I hate how embarrassing it is. I hate that I feel like it’s so much stronger than me. I hate how many tears it’s caused me to shed over the years. So much guilt, agony, time wasted, cover up techniques have been wasted on this and I absolutely hate it. This is why I’m trying to take control over my life and truly get control over my body. I do this to Myself. This is my issue and my issue only to defeat and I am determined



2 comments on “14 days Eh?

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