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All posts for the month March, 2016

He made it!

Published March 31, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Well I made it through the night and Peter is still here! But he is definitely still a menace. For some reason I’m more worried about staying strong than I am proud of myself for making it through the night. But I accept the challenge. I’d like Peter to make it yet another day and night without being messed with. The best thing I can do for myself right now is just not look, touch, or even think about my eye today. No mirrors, no touching, no nothing. Out of sight, out if mind is the name of the game today. Wish me luck!

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!

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Peter

Published March 31, 2016 by jaxtrichs

So I once heard that a technique to help with picking is to name the hair that you have an issue with. So there is this mofo named Peter that is really getting on my fkn nerves right now. Yes, I have to use bad words for Peter because he is being VERY mean to me right now. It’s like he’s taunting me. He is on my right eye, closest to the nose and he just won’t do right. He’s laying over all of his friends, won’t sit up right and is irritating tf out of me right now. But I’m going to try to think of Peter as a coworker that I hate. No matter how much he is irking my nerves, there’s nothing that I can do about it and I still have to face him tomorrow. The key is making sure that he is still here tomorrow to face him. This is a HUUUUUUUUUGE challenge. Ugh. Why do urges hurt so good?!!! I know how great it’d feel to just get rid of Peter once and for all, but…. Peter deserves a long life just like anyone else. It’s certainly not helping that I keep touching Peter, which is why I’m writing so vigorously right now. Impulse Control. Impulse Control. IMPULSE CONTROL!!!!!!

Please pray for Peter that he is still here in the morning. If I achieve this task, I will complete 2 whole weeks of no picking. Just realizing that made me a little bit stronger. I can do this!!!

Leave me alone, Peter!!!!!!!!

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!!

Another Day, Another Power

Published March 28, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Waking up this morning knowing that I continue to fight my urges is so empowering. Strangely, it is also scary. In the back of my mind I wonder how long I can be this strong. I’ve never been able to keep this up before so what makes this time any different. But when I let these negative thoughts seep into my mind, all I can tell myself is live for today. No I don’t know what I’ll be faced with tomorrow or next week, but TODAY I choose power. Power over my life, my issues, my addiction, my happiness, and my joy. Today I am happy and grateful and I want to live in this moment.
Looking in the mirror I see the gaps in my lashes. Yes I can have a pity party over that but instead I embrace and celebrate the stubble of growth that I also see in those gaps.

It hasn’t been 2 full weeks yet, so I must be patient and just continue to appreciate each day for what it’s worth. And today….

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!

Retraining

Published March 24, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Retraining the brain is quite the difficult task. Teaching yourself that something that feels so right is actually so wrong is quite a challenging process. I am a lash and brow picker, but mainly lash. I cannot just shave them off to prevent myself from picking them, so my temptation is ALWAYS there. I’m so used to bringing my hands to my face all day that it’s strange to find something else to do with my hands. Also, when you get that sensation that a hair is ripe and ready to pick, EVERYTHING in your body is telling you to pick but you still have to fight against what seems so natural. Right now my left eye is literally SCREAMING at me. I try to avoid looking at it and touching it at all costs. Picking is like Pringles, you can never have just 1. So I try to keep my future self in mind knowing that I will be grateful tomorrow for being strong today. I will be super happy when I wake up in the morning and have fought through another day. But today is a challenge, I’ll be honest. But I am determined to win this small battle

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!

1 Week!!!

Published March 24, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Last night was really hard. It seemed like my entire left eye was just BEGGING me to touch it all day and all night. It. Was. Hard. BUT…. I made it through yet another day Pull Free. I embrace these challenging days because it makes me so proud of myself to get stronger and resist the temptation. To me, this is a huge accomplishment and I am going to proudly pat myself on the back! Great Job, Me!! Lol! That’s 1 week down, 51 more to go for my 1st goal of a lifetime being pull free

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!

6 Days

Published March 23, 2016 by jaxtrichs

I am SO proud to say that I have not picked one single time since I have restarted this blog 6 days ago. I aaaalllllmost got tempted but I resisted and came to blog instead. Tomorrow will make 1 full week! It is a very small achievement in my life long goal but this is only the beginning. Praying for strength

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!

Published March 20, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Well yesterday and today were a success. Not one single hair has been plucked. Yes I have been tempted but I am determined to fight through it. Actually right now is the worse that it’s been which is why I’m writing. Holding myself accountable via blogging is what works for me and I am glad that I learned that about myself. So I look forward to being able to say that I made it yet another night pull free

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!!

Habits

Published March 18, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Unlike Alcoholism or drug addiction, you have to physically go out and chase your next “hit”. Scrambling for money, finding a secret place to indulge in your habit, and sometimes you can even hide it. But with hair pulling…. it’s ALWAYS there. ALWAYS! Sometimes even looking at someone else’s lashes can send me into a strange desire to pick theirs or my own. Sometimes I think, if only I can trade my lashes for yours so that I could pick and no one would notice.

Every thought has one outcome. But not today. Today I fight. I am fighting to win daily battles in a never-ending war. I WILL overcome this. I do not want to spend another day with this annoying habit. I am struggling now, but I have my future self to think about. Tomorrow I want to be proud of who I was tonight

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!

Progress

Published March 17, 2016 by jaxtrichs

Well I wrote a post last night because I kept having urges, so I challenged myself to make it through the night with no picking. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Got through the night and all day and really only thought about once today. Luckily I distracted myself. I thought about it just now because it was my first quiet moment all day. Naturally that’s what my mind wanted to do now that I’m in relax mode. But NO! I am setting another new goal to be able to blog tomorrow again and pat myself on the back for going another 24 hours with no licking. Anyone with trichotillomania knows how major this small goal is.

I haven’t decided if I think Trichotillomania is an autoimmune disease or just the worst habit that a person can possibly have. Either way, I plan to fight it with every ounce of strength that I have

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!

The Test

Published March 17, 2016 by jaxtrichs

I am having an urge. My fingers have no idea what to do with itself so I’ll type. My fingers automatically go to my face several times per hour so I just stop myself as it happens. If I allow my fingers to touch my brows or lashes, I know what comes next so prevention is key tonight. My goal is to make it to tomorrow and be able to say that I did not pick 1 single hair. I believe in myself!!

I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!