Last AMweek, my husband and I had a really great talk about picking. Over the years he has tried to understand how a person like me could have such an unusual habit to pick out their own hair. Over the years he has asked questions about things that may be wrong with me that or my past that is haunting me.
I guess I never acknowledged this to myself but I came to this conclusion — it feels good! When you pick that perfect from its follicle, there is no higher high than that very moment. An alcoholic can stay away from a bar, but a picker can NEVER escape their drug.
He then brought up a solution that I have never tried myself. He asked do I ever fight through my urges.
Tricky question. Yes and No. Yes I may fight my urges for a few days, but I ALWAYS give in. Even if it’s just 1 hair, I give in every single time. Of course most of that time, that 1 changes to 1 here and 1 there, etc. Even doing so, I commend myself for fighting those few days.
Then we talked about addicts and how sometimes they may take days and weeks to purge drugs out of their system. Have I ever gone an entire 10 days FIGHTING? No. I haven’t.
So this is a new challenge to myself. This is not something that I have been able to overcome all of these years, and I have finally truly welcomed my better half into my struggle. I have an area on my right eye that, leave it to me, could be hairless within 10 minutes. It is bugging the cap out of me. I am going to challenge myself by telling my husband so that he can hold me accountable for my actions, since I never quite do. Wish me luck!!
I AM NOT A PICKER ANYMORE!!!!